Screenwriter ϟ Magus ϟ Novelist
SubGenius ϟ Apolitical ϟ Zombie
“What I want to know is how would Obama handle a three AM zombie apocalypse? The people need to know! How will he keep them at bay? Will he use the bat, the sawed-off, or the nail gun? Has he even chosen his anti-zombie bunker? I’d go with the Washington Monument. Sheer limestone walls, one entrance, and a steel staircase that is easy to electrify. Of course, the second choice would be the halls of Congress, because no one goes there looking for brains.” — Stephen Colbert
“The horror… the horror…” — Bobby Flay on The Food Network
Quick, fire the parrot!
Stephen, I think that you just did.
Stephen Colbert — worried about the impending robot apocalypse.
"TIME’s person of the year is Mark Zuckerberg. Sorry Julian Assange, I guess you didn’t violate enough peoples privacy."
Stephen Colbert
"Scientists allegedly created anti-matter. I think that they just put an evil goatee on regular matter."
Stephen Colbert
"Spider-Man was a candidate? Seriously? His campaign has no online presence, no website, no Facebook page, no Twitter feed. You’d think that he, of all people, would know the importance of the web."
Stephen Colbert
