John Rezas

Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Once in a lifetime. Water flowing underground.

(Source: stexquisite, via reverendandroid)

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder! UNDERDOG!

The Ballad of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs
By Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger

Let me tell ya the story of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs
Bred of Man and Yeti, he walked with the gods
He wore a silly grin and he smoked a stupid pipe
He fought the conspiracy every day of his life

He whiffed the pstench of many a man
Fathered many children with his mighty glands
He founded the religion in which we all believe
Brought us all the slack that everybody needs

“Bob” was the greatest salesman the world had ever seen
He could sell the farts after he ate all the beans
He could sell a pile of shit to a lowly fly
All of us who knew him figured he would never die

“Bob” Dobbs, “Bob” Dobbs
He was a real man and brave
“Bob” Dobbs, “Bob” Dobbs
Is lying dead in his grave

Without “Bob” what are we gonna do
When the men from Planet X go marching through?
Our whole race is stuck in jail
With only “Bob” to raise the bail
But now he’s dead, so we’re doomed
What to do?
(What to do?)

He founded the city known as Dobbstown
Deep within Malaysia, it was rarely found
There he studied forbidden science until that fateful day
When he came unto his flock in the city by the bay

Few had ever seen him, few had ever dared
Most had no occasion, others just plain scared
Hundreds came to Frisco for the event of the age
When the holy smiling one would step out on the stage
(It’s him!)

“Bob” looked to the left and he looked to the right
Then he stepped out with confidence into the bright spotlight
(It’s him!)
He waved to all the cheering fans as he strolled up to the mic
(It’s him!)
When a crazed assassin’s bullet sent him too eternal night
(Oh my God!)

“Bob” Dobbs, “Bob” Dobbs
The crowds saw their Savior had come
“Bob” Dobbs, “Bob” Dobbs
Was greeted by the flash of a gun

Without “Bob” we have plenty to fear
As we swiftly approach that fatal year
For in nineteen ninety eight
He would have set the record straight
But, now he’s dead, so we’re doomed, oh my dear

Well, this has been the story of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs
Some called him Messiah, others called him fraud
I hope that before ninety-eight that the word gets out
That “Bob” Dobbs was the only guy we couldn’t do without

The end times are upon us and things don’t look so good
(No good.)
“Bob” Dobbs had the answer, but was seldom understood
We’re in a heap of trouble, our books are in the red
There is no joy in Mudville now that “Bob” is dead
(He’s dead.)

So, we pray to fighting Jesus to do battle for “Bob“‘s soul
To Poop Dog and to Pee Dog, for strengthening our hold
(Amen! Yeeha!)
We prayed to he that needs no name, so we may need no slack
(No slack!)
And, we prayed to Wotan, “Please send our Bobbie back!”
(…our Bobbie back.)

“Bob” Dobbs, “Bob” Dobbs
Our lives aren’t worth shit without you
“Bob” Dobbs, “Bob” Dobbs
Oh dear, what will we do?
(What will we do?)

Without “Bob” we are in a tight fix
When the Xists come to kill us just for kicks
If he were not in his grave
All the SubGenii would be saved
But, he is, so our chances are nix
But, he is, so our chances are nix