John Rezas

Sometimes, the female sex drive is overpowering.

Bang your head! Mental health will drive you crazy!

nickholmes:

Your training is nothing. The will is everything. 

We can’t stop here, this is bat-dog country!

This looks legit.

Harrumph!

Wheeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatoooooooooooooonnnn!

Cheech: “Is it heavy stuff, man? Will it blow me away?”
Chong: “You better fasten your seat belt, man.”

Alec Baldwin is taking this paparazzi thing a bit too far!

My neighbors are space aliens. Your argument is invalid.

(Source: nickholmes)

As some of you know, Doctor Who has a spinoff TV series on the BBC network entitled Torchwood. Well, I just sent in my pilot screenplay for Janitor What? He’s a less impressive version of Doctor Who. When Gallifrey burned at the end of the Time War, a man known only as The Janitor jumped into the only TARDIS that he could find given his chosen profession, custodial engineering. He jumped into a TARDIS disguised as a port-a-potty, sometimes called a “Portable Sanitation Unit” or a “port-a-loo” in England. The Janitor travels through time and space saving people from crapping their pants during alien invasions. During the first episode, he meets The Doctor and promptly unclogs the TARDIS toilet. Then, he defeats the Daleks in a plunger duel.

Now accepting applications. And, no sidekicks!