“What I want to know is how would Obama handle a three AM zombie apocalypse? The people need to know! How will he keep them at bay? Will he use the bat, the sawed-off, or the nail gun? Has he even chosen his anti-zombie bunker? I’d go with the Washington Monument. Sheer limestone walls, one entrance, and a steel staircase that is easy to electrify. Of course, the second choice would be the halls of Congress, because no one goes there looking for brains.” — Stephen Colbert
