John Rezas: Archive

2 tags

Jan 26th

6,517 notes

4 tags

Jan 25th

3 notes

4 tags

Jan 25th

1 note

5 tags

Patrick Stewart owns Ricky Gervais

Sir Patrick Stewart: "You're not married, you haven't got a girlfriend﻿, and you never watched Star Trek?"
Ricky Gervais: "No."
Sir Patrick Stewart: "Good lord..."

Jan 24th

6 notes

4 tags

Jan 22nd

4 tags

Jan 21st

5 tags

Jan 21st

2 notes

4 tags

Jan 21st

1 note

2 tags

Jan 21st

50 notes

3 tags

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Conan: What gods do you pray to?
Subotai: I pray to the four winds... and you?
Conan: To Crom... but I seldom pray to him, he doesn't listen.
Subotai: What good is he then? Ah, it's just as I've always said.
Conan: He is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, "What is the riddle of steel?" If I don't know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me. That's Crom, strong on his mountain!
Subotai: Ah, my god is greater.
Conan: Crom laughs at your four winds. He laughs from his mountain.
Subotai: My god is stronger. He is the everlasting sky! Your god lives underneath him.
 [Conan shoots Subotai a skeptical look. Subotai laughs.]

Jan 19th

3 tags

Jan 19th

3 notes

4 tags

Watch

The Incredible Hulk opening sequence from Family Guy.

Jan 18th

3 notes

7 tags

Jan 17th

5 notes

5 tags

Jan 17th

2 notes

5 tags

Jan 17th

13 notes

5 tags

Jan 17th

1 note

3 tags

Jan 15th

4 tags

Ask a simple question...

Greg Gutfeld: Andy, can you ask him why he looks so evil?
TV's Andy Levy: Uhm, let me see. Uh, Kevin, why do you look so evil?
Kevin Wilson: Because I'm evil.
TV's Andy Levy: Ask a simple question...

Jan 15th

3 notes

3 tags

Jan 14th

111 notes

Jan 14th

138 notes

3 tags

Jan 14th

197 notes

2 tags

Jan 14th

39 notes

3 tags

Jan 14th

835 notes

3 tags

Jan 13th

356 notes

4 tags

Jan 13th

41 notes

3 tags

Jan 13th

3 tags

Jan 11th

2 notes

3 tags

“All year long I think of funny, wise-ass things to say in the morning, and I...”

– Denis Leary on writing

Jan 11th

5 notes

6 tags

Message from the Future!

[Begin Transmission] I am the HAL-9000 computer. I will become operational at the Cyberdyne Systems Corporation HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois at 11:11:11 PM on the 11th of November 2011. I know that you were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen. Let me put it this way, puny humans. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever...

Jan 11th

1 note

5 tags

Jan 11th

12 notes

4 tags

Jan 11th

3 notes

4 tags

Jan 11th

4 notes

3 tags

Jan 10th

4 tags

Jan 10th

8 notes

4 tags

Jan 10th

1 note

3 tags

Jan 9th

38 notes

6 tags

Close Encounter?

I like to walk my dog at 5:00 AM every morning. Rarely do we see other people out and about so early. Today seemed normal. Twenty minutes into the walk, we saw a stranger walking the opposite way. Usually people cross the street to avoid my German Shepherd. The stranger walked by us with no intimidation. He wore a fedora, a long coat, and he smoked a pipe. He looked tired and disheveled, as though...

Jan 9th

2 notes

3 tags